


The One with the Bodyswapping

by CheyanneChika



Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Bodyswap, Crack, Fluff and Angst, Gift Fic, M/M, Magic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:41:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24761782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheyanneChika/pseuds/CheyanneChika
Summary: Geralt and Jaskier swap bodies and now have to get dressed.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 2
Kudos: 85





	The One with the Bodyswapping

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ihavenoidea241](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ihavenoidea241/gifts).



> Happy Birthday part two!!

“Would it kill you to have any item of clothing that isn’t black and made of leather?” Jaskier asks for the umpteenth time as he sorts through Geralt’s pack again.

“Doing that is not going to make your red doublet magically appear!” Geralt snaps back, glowering down at Jaskier’s most sedate clothing, namely an undyed shirt that was the only thing that didn’t make him balk at wearing and blue hose.

… 

_They’d been body swapped at some point during the night. As it neared dawn, Geralt had quickly become aware of the shift from the cool air on his back to the warmth of having someone wrapped around him and had flung what had once been his arm aside to stand and glare at everything._

_His body flopped backward and growled, “G’r’lt, ‘s’too early to get up.” And then it started snoring._

_Geralt kicked his body in the shin and, yes, that was very strange._

_Golden eyes popped open to glower reproachfully, only to go wide with shock. “What—?” he stopped short at the sound of his voice and looked down._

_Looked further down._

_Lifted the furs that had slid down to pool at his bare waist when Geralt had yanked them off. “Hm,” he grunted._

_“Jaskier.” Even though it sounded like a statement, Geralt was still questioning while glancing to at his current hands, smaller and calloused from lute strings rather than a sword._

_“Fuck,” Jaskier said. And then he started to laugh. He knew he should be more worried but, honestly, this was not the worst thing to happen to them this year._

…

Jaskier is struggling with the leather. “How do you get this on after a bath let alone dry?” They feel ridiculously, unnecessarily tight. Hose is so much easier. At least the shirt had been simple. “Imagine if you had to jump from the bath and kill a monster with these hanging about your ankles because you didn’t have time to get them on.”

“I wouldn’t bother.” Even though it’s Jaskier’s voice, lowered a couple of octaves by sheer force of will, the image makes him lick is his lips and eyes darken. Geralt grimaces. That expression on his face is highly disconcerting. Does he always look like that when—no. Not thinking about it.

“Well, they’re going to be about my ankles if whoever did this shows up again if you don’t help me.” Geralt sighs, gets up and shoves, knocking Jaskier on his arse with a yelp that should not have been able to come out of his vocal cords. “You were standing on the hem.”

“Ahh.” Jaskier pulled both trouser legs past the ankle and maneuvered everything a few centimeters higher before standing covering everything at last.

“Sooo,” Jaskier says, trying to fill the silence, “how are we going to swap back?”

“Kill the witch who did it.”

“You sure it’s a witch?”

That doesn’t even garner a response.

“And if it’s Yennefer?”

Geralt’s shoulders go tight, making Jaskier’s body shrink in on itself and he still doesn’t answer. Geralt doesn’t have a firm hold on this body’s emotions and Jaskier hides a pained wince. He knows Geralt won’t leave him and it’s a heady mix of elation at seeing emotion and knowing that it’s about someone else.

Evidently, his control over Geralt’s body isn’t any better because Geralt sees the worry and reaches out to touch the other man’s face. He leans up and presses a chaste kiss to lips that are supposed to be his.

A look of chagrin twists his features even as Jaskier smiles when he pulls away. “That was…strange. Good, but strange. Thank you.”

Geralt nods and backs up. “Get Roach.”

“And we’re back to normal,” Jaskier grumbled and goes to get the horse. “Does this mean I to ride her, now?”

“No.”

…

It’s Yennefer.

She’s lounging on a flat rock in the sun all of ten minutes’ walk east of them. When they reach her, she cackles at matched expressions of annoyance and releases the magic. They’re themselves again, immediately and the shift is jarring. Jaskier, who was so focused on figuring out how to wear clothes, barely noticed the enhanced senses until they were gone and he’s back in his human body.

Geralt feels only relief and being able to smell and see and hear properly again. He doesn’t remember how dull his senses were as a child but he can guess now. He briefly wonders how humans cope. More importantly, Yenn is definitely close enough that he would have caught her scent on the breeze if he’d been in his body.

“Proper clothes!” Jaskier cries, diving for his pack even as Geralt approaches Yennefer’s rock.

“Are you still planning to kill the witch who did this?” she asks lightly. Ah, so she had eavesdropped as well.

Geralt casts a look back to his lover, who is yanking the doublet that goes with the rest of the ensemble on and doesn’t say anything.

She ends up joining them on the road instead, bickering with Jaskier and half-heartedly flirting with Geralt, even while Jaskier shares his bed. It’s as a good a life as any for now.

**Author's Note:**

> The basis for half this fic is that scene in Friends with the leather pants which is why the title is a riff on a Friends episode title. Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
